For you ~ Terri ~

This photo was taken on Terri’s last birthday, Sept 18th , 2018.
I was so happy to be with her as we celebrated together with family.
Terri died a few months later, on Dec 31st, one of the saddest days of my life!
Terri lived with ALS for less then three years and died with courage and grace.
(Terri is on the left, she was so beautiful and her smile lit up the world.)

I thought I heard your footsteps
running toward me
disturbing the stones
but when I opened my eyes
I saw it was only the waves
pulling and swirling like hands.

I thought I felt your smile
warm and loving upon my face
but when I opened my eyes
I saw it was only the sun
beaming at me from across the water.

I thought I heard you
whisper my name
but when I opened my eyes
I realized it was only the wind
playing in my hair.

I thought I felt you
softly kiss my cheek
but when I opened my eyes
I saw it was only a leaf
caressing me with gentle strokes.

And then I felt your love
in me and around me
powerful yet gentle like the waves
warm and shining like the sun
soft yet strong like the wind
tender and alive like the leaves
and I didn’t even have
to open my eyes
I knew you
were there.

————————————
She was my sister
my best friend
now she is an angel
watching over me.

64 thoughts on “For you ~ Terri ~”

  1. Such a lovely tribute. I never had a sister but for a short while I had a friend who was like a sister. We lost contact because we got separated geographically and our lives went different ways. My brother and I also went different ways. I lost another friend recently. We had not seen each other for a very long time but we had worked together and I respected her deeply. We spoke often and I realize in grieving for her that I felt close to her. Relationships like the one you had with your sister are so precious. I am sure she is around you still.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Oh man, New Year’s Eve was the anniversary. And it was ALS, that’s so difficult.

    That was the most emotional thing I’ve ever read, it made me cry. And I read it three times to properly absorb it all. It was the most focused I’ve been whilst reading in ages, it really silenced a lot going on in my mind.

    I am humbled that you’d take time to read my poems whilst grieving for her, or even take comfort in them.

    There were a lot of powerful life lessons in that poem. I will never again consider suicidal thoughts. I will read it again, maybe it will help me to be able to get back in touch with family eventually.

    You’ve helped me put things in perspective a bit more.

    She was indeed pretty. Thank you for writing that!

    🤗 💙 🤗 💙

    (One each for you and your sister).

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Robin, I find myself searching for the words to reply to your comment. First, it;s always a pleasure to read your poems as they are very moving. You read my poem three times in order to absorb it, that is so nice to hear. I am so glad that my poem was a powerful life lesson for you. I know sometimes in very difficult and depressing times a person might have suicidal thoughts and it is makes me immensely happy that you will never again have any of those thoughts. To know that I have done that with this poem is amazing to me. Thank you so much for sharing your deepest thoughts with me. I will keep you in my prayers. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, You touched my heart!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. You and your sister both look beautiful! What a nice photo.

    Take care Margie. I hope you have a happier year, in 2020.

    Our loved ones never really leave us. Love crosses all barriers, even death.
    My (worst) heartache is missing my mom, every single day. But I do feel her beautiful, tangible presence even now. She passed on over 10 years ago.

    I replied to your blog comment at Veggies.. too.

    Big hugs❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello Geraldine,
      Thank you for the kind words on the photo of my sister and me.
      It was one of the last ones we have of us together and I will always treasure it.
      It’s still hard for me to believe that Terri passed away a few months after this photo was taken.
      Your words about our loved ones never really leaving us gives me comfort, I know that is true.
      But, not having my sister with me know weighs heavily on my soul as I loved her dearly and miss her with all my being.
      It’s lovely that you feel the presence of your mom after her being gone for 10 years.
      Her memory really is a blessing to you.

      I hope this year is a wonderful year for you and Joe.
      Wherever you go or whatever you do, I wish much joy to both of you.

      Big hugs back to you, Geraldine ❤

      Like

  4. Margie, I really loved this. Its so beautiful. You’ve said it right – our loved ones – they’re there in the warm sunshine, in the wind, in the leaves. Its a beautiful poem. Your sister was beautiful and so is the love you shared.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is exquisitely heart touching – my sister is my beat friend also and I cannot imagine life without her. When she underwent chemo last year I sat beside her on many of her weekly appointments and we laughed and chatted but if she hadn’t beaten that thing …it has taught me to not take her for granted to phone often to visit frequently and to love her even deeper. A beautiful tribute but I’m so sorry for your loss 🖤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Such a lovely poem, your sister died on my sister’s birthday. I always try to take something good away from something tragic, perhaps I don’t appreciate my sister enough. I’ll try to take that away, a reminder to thank my sister and appreciate her more. My childhood hero was Stephen Hawkings and I had him as a reminder of courage for so much of my life, when he died it hit me hard because even though I didn’t know him he was this inspiration of someone who had a much harder day ahead of them, yet faced it with such dignity, hope, and humor. In martial arts there is a term that to learn best you need someone +, – and =, the + is someone who knows more to teach you, the – is someone who knows less so you can teach and the = are people at the same level to practice alongside of without being discouraged or thinking you don’t have more to learn. Stephen Hawkings was my +, even though I didn’t know him personally, so I think I have an idea of the courage and grace you are talking about. I also had the feeling of my grandmother (who raised me) comfort me twice, as real as if she was still there hugging me. One just recently. My son is 11 months old and I felt so sad for a moment that I couldn’t show him to her and then I felt, for no provable reason, that she did know my son, that she was still there for me, that she was happy with our family in general and proud of us, I felt the same love I felt when she sent us snacks every year after we moved out of state and when we did something bad and she corrected the situation without anger or shaming us, the same love as when you got back home and your room had been cleaned with love or she brought some watermelon to you without asking if you wanted any. Thank you so much for reminding me of that feeling, I can’t believe how fast I forget it. 🕊️

    Liked by 1 person

  7. A lovely tribute to a lovely woman! Your sister was indeed beautiful and so are you. From your poetry I think you are beautiful inside and out. I have two sisters, both living in Colorado and both beautiful and although we are only separated by miles I miss them both so much. I probably will never see them again due to our ages and health problems, but I really feel them with me all the time. Hugs from Kentucky! 😇♥❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your lovely comment touched me so! Thank you so much! It’s wonderful that you feel your sisters with you even though you are separated by the miles between you. I have two other sisters and miss them as well, But, Terri was the one I was (am) closest to and losing her has left me with a hole in my heart that seems like it can’t be repaired. But I do feel her around me and that gives me comfort! Thank you so much for the visit and comment. Hugs back to you, ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My youngest sister is suffering from some respiratory problems as yet diagnosed. She is 14 years younger than me and I always thought of her as my baby also. She is being tested for heart problems now and I worry about her all the time.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. A wonderful photo and a beautiful tribute to your sister, Margie. Our dear ones never leave us, they are in our memories. A very touching and powerful poem!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hi Margie, what a beautiful poem about the loss of your lovely sister, Terri. I can imagine how terrible a loss that is and it is clear from your lovely photo that you both have that lighting up the world quality. I have been aware of your lovely and supportive comments on Robin’s blog for quite a while. I imagine that in all sorts of ways you use your loss to help to make the world a better place. I hope you still have the sense that your lovely sister is watching over you. I am sure she is. 💖

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi emberbear, how lovely of you to visit my blog and leave your wonderful comment, Thank you so much! Oh my goodness, you are so right about my wanting to make the world better since I lost Terri as that is what Teri would want, Poor Robin, some days his posts break my part 😦 I feel so badly for all he has to go through! I have seen you at his blog and happy that you support him as well.

      Terri will always live on in my heart but oh, how I miss her and on so many days I say out loud “I just want you back, I need you! ”
      She was more than a sister, she was my best friend!
      I really appreciate your visit and follow!
      ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Hi Margie, thank you. I am deeply touched by your kindness. I am sure you have always been a wonderful person and teacher and what you are doing now, since Terri’s sad loss, is a continuation of what came before. I am looking forward to following your blog as well as seeing you on Robin’s. I am very glad that we are both there to support Robin with everything he has gone through and is going through and I am very glad for you that you have a good grief support group to help you to deal with your unimaginably sad loss. 💖

    Liked by 1 person

  11. So sorry for your loss, but goodness. She has one great sister to write these beautiful words. And I know what you mean. Often times, I think our loved ones are there with us. Great poem, Margie!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Such a beautifully written and poignant piece. So true. When our loved ones leave, there’s never a complete letting go. We just need to learn to feel them and hear them differently. I only have one sister. She’s beaten cancer once. She leaves across the world in New Zealand. I live in South Africa. I’m going to be seeing her in two weeks time. Super excited. There was a time when we also thought we’d need to hold on to all the memories and we wouldn’t get to make any more. I’m deeply grateful for this opportunity to be seeing her in her new home country. Thank you for writing from the heart. So touching.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Grieve happens especially when you recall the moments you shared with her. I lost my kid brother ( last born, IK ) whom we all cherish so much in 2004. It was a sudden death – you know when you’re not thinking about something and it happens? That’s how his death came. Like a thief. Two weeks after his demise we still had tears flowing down our cheeks and massive bitterness in our hearts until he visited the dream world of me and my sister (apart from our mum, we were the worst at it). He warned us not to cry ever again over him. He said that each time we grieved, he grieved too. My sister said he had tears in his eyes as he talked to her. He said he is not dead as we were thinking, he is alive and we should think so and stop grieving for him. He said there was no use for grieve. Ever since, we began to see his demise differently. We began to see death as a shift into another realm of life. The best life where everything is perfect. It’s true we don’t see him anymore but we always think of him with deep fondness and are happy for him -, he lives on and joyfully too. We all are heading in the same direction. One day, in a twinkle of an eye, we will be gone. The earth isn’t a permanent place for us human and no one knows when the end will come. We only pray for long life to fulfil our reason for being here. We live for that reason and once it’s fulfilled, we have no use for being here anymore. May God heal your grieving heart and help you experience deep peace when you think of your sister.
        I’m sorry I had to share this with you. I’m only hoping you’ll begin to see her passing differently and grieve no more.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Florence, you are a wonderful person to come back and share this about your brother,
    First,let me say I am so sorry for your loss and may his memory always be a blessing.
    I think it’s truly incredible the dream you and your sister had about him and he told you not to grieve for him as he grieved when you grieved.
    You were given an amazing gift, a blessing really from him!
    I truly appreciate your sharing this with me.
    I had such a great love for my sister and I am going to only remember the love we shared today and I will smile as I remember that love,no tears today!
    My sister suffered so much while she has ALS and I know she is resting peacefully now and I will hold onto that.
    I will always miss my sister but I know I must try to get past the grief as it has taken a toll on my mental well-being and I know my sister would not want to see me this way.
    She loved life and I do too and today I am going to just be happy for the gift of my sister as she truly was a gift to the world.
    Thank you so much Florence for telling me about your brother and the dream that changed your life for all the best!
    That is truly amazing!

    Like

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